Moving Towards Peace
Why Does Life Feel So Crazy?
Do you ever feel like you’re constantly juggling tasks, struggling to find time to even think about what would calm that gnawing sense of discomfort inside? The relentless demands of daily life can leave us feeling like we’re running in circles, trying to keep up with an ever-growing to-do list. But we must soldier on because things need to get done, right?
The Evolution of Demands
The demands of modern life can feel like a swarm of mosquitoes in the heat of summer–insistent, annoying, impossible to control, and even threatening to your health. Gone are the days of designated chores for each day of the week that often required hours to complete by hand. Technological advances have undoubtedly made certain tasks more manageable, and offered the freedom for both men and women to pursue higher education and build careers. But along with these changes, the traditional eight hour workday no longer has boundaries. Multitasking and busyness has become an expectation. Sunday used to be thought of as a day of rest. When was the last time you allowed yourself such a day, free from the fierce pace of modern life? (Without being so ill your body mandated you remain in bed!)
A Day in the Life
A typical day can feel like a non-stop marathon, from the crack of dawn to the late hours of the evening. Whether it’s managing household chores, shuttling kids to various activities or balancing work and personal responsibilities, there is often little time left to take a few breaths or quietly reflect before collapsing in bed to get enough sleep to do it all again in a few hours. Weekends are also consumed by a never-ending list of unfinished tasks. Even planned activities for fun can be interrupted by phone calls, or feel crunched between other obligations.
Embracing the Journey
The landscapes of our life may change, but the demands never seem to diminish. My own experiences, as well as those of many others, have taught me that finding moments of peace and tranquility amid chaos is an ongoing challenge. While my path towards peace is far from complete, I’ve begun to shift my focus from simply meeting external expectations to considering my deeper desires and needs. It hasn’t been a smooth journey and I’ve stumbled along the way, but the effort has been worthwhile. In future posts, I’ll share my stories of discovering my deepest fears and desires, including the surprises along the way. It is a journey that continues to unfold, but one that has undeniably brought more peace into my life.
My hope is that sharing my stories will inspire you to explore and discover your own path toward greater peace.
Thoughts and Ideas Meet Stories…
*Fear – Friend or Foe?*
Thoughts/Ideas:
Fear can be our friend. It can be instinctual, alerting us to threats and dangers to keep us safe. Think about the familiar scenario of running from a tiger in the jungle.
But fear can also keep us from experiencing the world around us, prevent us from ‘growing forward’. Acts that seem simple for others may feel like putting our heads in that tiger’s mouth!
Let’s first talk about what happens in our body when fear creeps, or races, in. When potential danger is observed the brain’s threat detector (the amygdala) automatically kicks in and sends a message to another part of the brain (the hypothalamus) that releases stress hormones (adrenaline and cortisol) causing our heart to race, breath to quicken, and muscles to tense so we can respond quickly to avoid harm. You may be familiar with some or all of these associated responses: ‘fight’-counterattack, ‘flight’-run away, ‘freeze’-stop moving to avoid notice, and ‘fawn’-curry favor with attacker.
We do not want to get rid of these responses that can keep us safe when danger arises. But what gets classified as ‘real’ danger?
Being chased by a tiger? Yes! Seeing an out-of-control car heading your way? Yes! Seeing a child chase after a ball headed toward the street? Yes!
But what about walking into a gathering where you don’t know anyone, feeling like you will be left standing alone in a corner, or are just not good, funny, interesting enough to fit in? Most likely not a real danger. Or simply expressing an opinion contrary to popular belief within a group of friends? Also, most likely not a real danger. But I know from experience the racing heart, shallow breath, and tense muscles such situations can trigger!
My Story:
I spent most of my childhood in a ‘frozen’ state, not daring to say what I felt or act as I wanted. Fear of making someone mad, looking stupid, or saying the wrong thing kept me from exploring and enjoying the world around me. I believe this was due to both an inborn tendency toward shyness (nature) as well as growing up in a rural setting surrounded by acres of woods with highly restrictive parents (nurture). But as I grew older and another inborn tendency (stubbornness) grew with me, I planned an escape (flight) from parental control and rural isolation. After graduating high school, instead of moving down the road and getting married I took a route off the family map – to college! This may sound like no big deal to many, but obstacles were placed before me to keep me close to home. That stubborn streak came in handy as I found my way to what looked like freedom!
If any of this sounds familiar, please stay tuned for the next post. (hit the ‘subscribe’ button and you’ll get a notice when it arrives)